That's what I call it.
That feeling of inadequacy you can get when reading Cosmopolitan, or other women's magazines of that ilk.
After flicking through those glossy pages you can find yourself falling for the bullshit, gazing at the fashion pages and wondering how long you have to starve yourself so that your knees are the widest point of your legs. The articles are just as unsettling. Is my hairstyle adding years to me? Should I really be spending a huge chunk of my meagre wages on skincare products? Will the lady on the make up counter laugh me out of the shop when she discovers my soap and water secret? Do I exfoliate enough? Too much? At all? Do I know 101 ways to please my man in bed? Are they the right 101 ways? Is that normal? Oh God.
It is much the same for me when I read sex blogs. Should I be meeting more people in hotel rooms for kinky sex? Should I stick more things up my arse? Is one good orgasm a session no longer acceptable? Should I have had 3, 13, 30? Should I have gushed, squirted, shrieked, exploded? (I remember when having an orgasm at all was something of an achievement and a goal in itself. At times sex blogs are almost indistinguishable from mainstream porn, with their shaven minges, endless climaxing and squirting quims. Yet the authors of this derivative drivel genuinely believe they are creating something fresh and true, perhaps even empowering).
These blogs give such a one sided view of sex that you really do need a reality check now and then to prevent Cosmo Complex from setting in. Is anyone writing about real sex anywhere? (And I mean the actual jiggy jiggy stuff, not pages and pages of theoretical pseudo-feminist boring toss). Much as the models in magazines bear little relation to the majority of women in real life, most sexual escapades, as recounted in blog land, bear only a passing resemblance to the actuality of the event. Give me something I can truly relate to! I want to hear about inappropriate farting, elbows on wobbly bits or hair and the ensuing "owees", needing a wee at the worst possible moment, or being savaged by an over exuberant cat at the point of no return. I want to know I am not the only one who has a bad back and gets locked into position if not careful.
Thinking about it, my aims may be very different from others who read sex blogs. I am not reading to be titillated, I suppose. Now, there is a challenge. Is it possible to write an absolutely honest account of sex and still be arousing? Anyone up to it?